Monday, November 07, 2005

Check ups and Updates

I've been working my brains out. I was at the Austin Game Developer's Conference in Austin Texas speaking as a writer. It was pretty amazing. I can't even play first person shooters because I get motion sick and I can't operate the controls on an X-Box because I'm old and here I was talking to a ballroom that was standing room only about writing in games. Four days in Austin and I never heard any music. I saw the airport, the Hyatt and the convention center. I ate at one Tex-Mex place. Otherwise, I worked.

But I have a breather and Bob said, 'Update your blog.'

I went for a check-up on Halloween. Everything is great. No lumps, no bumps, no signs of disease. And I got a flu shot. Turns out that people who have Hodgkins or once had Hodgkins always have mildly compromised immune systems. Dr. Schnur explained that this doesn't seem to be related to treatment. So flu shots forever.

When I was getting treated, I hated going to the oncologist, of course. For a couple of months afterward, when I would see a Cleveland Clinic sign on a building (and there are a lot of outposts of the Cleveland Clinic in the Greater Cleveland area) I would feel mild nausea. But on the other hand, when I was at the doctor's office, I was an insider. I knew a lot about how things worked. I had opinions about my veins and about whether popsicles or ice chips were better when you were getting certain chemo drugs. I knew all the nurses, of course, and I had my favorites. In the waiting room I would see people with hair and an attitude of brittle calm and I would know that they were here to discuss how bad and what next. I got good at telling when people were wearing wigs (first and most obviously clue, check for the presence or absence of eyebrows.)

This time I came in and I wasn't part of it anymore. I'm not sick anymore. I'm still often tired. I still have a bit of neuropathy. I'm changed. I'm making decisions differently now. (Now I know that some day I'm going to die, and I'm doing risk/benefit analysis--should I put this trip off or do it now? Do clothes really matter? Maybe shoes?)

But I'm not sick anymore.

I used to have Hodgkins. It's possible that I will relapse. But I'm not sick anymore.

I guess I've left Planet Cancer and come back home.

7 Comments:

Blogger David Moles said...

Welcome back! We missed you.

November 07, 2005 9:55 PM  
Blogger David Moles said...

P.S. I forgot to tell Kelly to say hi to you for me tomorrow, so: Hi! We missed you in Madison, too, not just on Planet Not-Cancer.

November 07, 2005 9:55 PM  
Blogger Maureen McHugh said...

Hey David, I would have liked to be in Madison, but I was at http://www.lastcallpoker.com instead. I bet a good time was had in Madison.

November 07, 2005 11:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Glad to hear you are well. Welcome back, from one who has also been gone and returned.

November 08, 2005 1:04 AM  
Blogger Christopher Barzak said...

So happy to have you back. As for clothes and shoes and are they neccesities? Well of course they are! But only so far as you like these things. I love to buy clothes (particularly after I lost some weight) but recently I have had absolutely crap luck finding any shoes I like. Right now it's fashionable for men in Japan to wear these pointy little shoe/boots and I just do not like them AT ALL. I want some chunky man shoes/boots.

Anyway, yep, all kinds of decisions, huh. I'm glad you're still here to make them. Miss you, from Planet Japan.

November 08, 2005 2:12 AM  
Blogger Autumn said...

So glad your human again. We're all rooting for you.

Loving the poker game, very nice work, btw. Also, I heard all about your presentation at the game confrence. Good work! (yes, I know, *gasp* I'm in the know now.)

Glad to hear your well, and writing. *hugs*

November 08, 2005 10:39 AM  
Blogger Ted said...

Late comment, but welcome back, Maureen! And World Fantasy will be in Austin next year, so you could always use that as an opportunity to see what you missed. (I was in Austin this summer, and got to eat at a barbecue joint unlike any other restaurant I'd previously seen. They're serious about barbecue in Texas.)

November 10, 2005 4:00 PM  

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