Check ups and Updates
But I have a breather and Bob said, 'Update your blog.'
I went for a check-up on Halloween. Everything is great. No lumps, no bumps, no signs of disease. And I got a flu shot. Turns out that people who have Hodgkins or once had Hodgkins always have mildly compromised immune systems. Dr. Schnur explained that this doesn't seem to be related to treatment. So flu shots forever.
When I was getting treated, I hated going to the oncologist, of course. For a couple of months afterward, when I would see a Cleveland Clinic sign on a building (and there are a lot of outposts of the Cleveland Clinic in the Greater Cleveland area) I would feel mild nausea. But on the other hand, when I was at the doctor's office, I was an insider. I knew a lot about how things worked. I had opinions about my veins and about whether popsicles or ice chips were better when you were getting certain chemo drugs. I knew all the nurses, of course, and I had my favorites. In the waiting room I would see people with hair and an attitude of brittle calm and I would know that they were here to discuss how bad and what next. I got good at telling when people were wearing wigs (first and most obviously clue, check for the presence or absence of eyebrows.)
This time I came in and I wasn't part of it anymore. I'm not sick anymore. I'm still often tired. I still have a bit of neuropathy. I'm changed. I'm making decisions differently now. (Now I know that some day I'm going to die, and I'm doing risk/benefit analysis--should I put this trip off or do it now? Do clothes really matter? Maybe shoes?)
But I'm not sick anymore.
I used to have Hodgkins. It's possible that I will relapse. But I'm not sick anymore.
I guess I've left Planet Cancer and come back home.