But I got something even better than that in the mail. From Leslie What (hi Leslie!) I got a Chinese Great Leap Forward Army hat covered with pins and a cool wig stand, dark chocolate with chili in it (which is really quite good because you feel the chili as much as you taste it so it's like chocolate that makes your lips tingle) and the perfect reading material for Chemo Brain--The Weekly World News. The Weekly World News has in it, among other things, 25 signs you're going to hell. One of them is that you hate harp music. Another is that you have severed heads in the freezer. It's my opinion that the severed heads are a pretty good tip.
For those of you not so blessed, here is The Weekly World News online version reporting important literary news. Remember that thing about an infinite number of monkeys and typewriters?