Monday, March 21, 2005


Tomorrow the car is in the shop which means I am stranded in the suburbs. It is weird how discombobulating that is. I'm not worried for health reasons. In fact, my ability to lie around the house has increased so much that there are many days I don't even make it out to check the mail. But tell me I can't have my car and all the sudden I'm thinking of all the things I should do. Get pills for the dog. Go to the grocery. I'm running low on make-up and I need to go to the mall to get what I want. (Forget that I wear make-up maybe two days out of seven and tomrrow probably isn't one of the two.)

When I was in grad school I was taking classes and teaching classes and I was always running. The lines at my bank were always long (this was in the infancy of ATMs.) One day it finally occurred to me that when I was standing in line at the bank, that was my job. To stand in line. Until I got to the teller. And that was okay. So bank lines became mini-vacations.

I tried to think of this whole Hodgkins thing as I kind of re-alignment of priorities the way bank lines are, and to some degree I have succeeded. (I think of people like Heather who are doing this and holding down a job and I just don't know how they do it.) But you know, life keeps interrupting with silly stuff like the fact I failed to get my tags renewed on my car last month. So I ran around doing that stuff today.

But tomorrow, I'm going to be stranded, at home. (Okay, my husband is having some wheels delivered by UPS so I can't nap all day.) But tomorrow, I think I'll revel in not being able to get anything done. And before someone says, 'You can write!' Well, the truth is, I can't quite remember the name of anything and have this curious, if mild aphasia. It's called chemo brain and it's described in the literature. So I'm not going to ruin the perfectly good story I started by trying to do it now.

So there. Just think of me as stranded in an airport that happens to be just like home.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

There should be a magazine called Chemo Brain. You know, like Highlights at the dentist's office when you were a kid. There could be all sorts of games and puzzles in it designed especially to entertain the chemo'ed brain. For those days when you are Stranded.

I have no idea what would entertain a chemo'ed brain, though, so don't look at me for tomorrow's entertainment.

March 21, 2005 7:56 PM  
Blogger Ellen Datlow said...

Well,when you finish that "perfectly good story" you'd better send it to me!! :-)

March 21, 2005 9:01 PM  
Blogger elad said...

i kinda like being stranded in airports.

March 22, 2005 7:45 AM  
Blogger Maureen McHugh said...

Elad, you are a strange and wonderous creature. And you must not tire easily.

Michael, Highlights might be good for chemo brain...

(Of course I'll send it to you, Ellen!)

March 22, 2005 8:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Pretty cunning plan of mine to trap you at home. Keep an eye out for the UPS guy.

March 22, 2005 11:06 AM  
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