The Internet as Passive Aggressive Tool

This is my new computer. It is sitting next to my desk where I am typing this on my laptop, which is old, much abused, beginning to cook (the fan works, the sucker is just old) and has always had a screen so dark that people commented on it. The new computer is a scratch and dent but according to the specs, it should do everything but toast my English muffin in the morning.

At the moment, it is doing nothing. Because I ordered the computer one day. But I ordered the monitor the NEXT day.

Did I foresee this, this sitting around waiting forlornly for the new monitor? Yes, I did. So why didn't I order the monitor at the same time? It's Bob's fault.

Really.

Years ago I told Bob that if he ever got a bigger, better monitor than me, it would jeopardize our marriage. And for a year or two, all was fine. But then he upgraded his system and got a flat screen monitor while I continued with my old CRT. Those were rocky times in the household. We weathered the storm and our marriage survived, if not stronger, well, pretty much adequate to the daily tasks of sitting in separate offices IMing each other because we couldn't be bothered to actually get up and walk next door.

He has had a couple of flat screens since then. I used laptops. A laptop is easier to take to a coffee shop than a desktop, and much easier to cart through airports. On the other hand, my job often required me to have multiple documents open at the same time--spreadsheets, design docs, text docs, all integrated. On a little laptop screen, they are really never all open at the same time. I thought covetously of having TWO monitors. And hauled the damn laptop through airport security. (It got to the point where the TSA guy checking my ticket and ID on Monday morning recognized me.)

When it came time to buy this computer, I decided I was traveling less. I could keep the laptop in reserve for travel. And I would buy a better monitor than Bob.

Bob has a 22 inch monitor. And being an engineer, he thoroughly researched and it's the best damn moderately priced 22 inch available. I have a small desk. A 24 inch is just going to be too big. And I can't really justify buying a $1000 monitor. I look at graphics a lot, but I don't create them. Still I resisted for a full twenty four hours, hoping against hope that I would figure out a way to get a BETTER monitor than Bob.

I didn't. I bought the exact same monitor Bob has. And I admit, I am secretly seething. (At least for some definition of 'secret' that involves posting on the internet. Let's say perhaps I am passive-aggressively 'secretly seething'.) More importantly, I am sitting here while my awesome new computer remains inaccessible, quietly sitting next to my desk, exuding newness, speed, computing power and a moderately impressive video card.

I'm not really blaming Bob. I know it is my own folly in trying to one-up an engineer in matters of geekitude. It's my own fault.

Not Bob's.

Not at all.

You hear that Bob?