By now, the chemo effects have gotten much more pronounced and I would say I take an ativan almost every day, usually a bedtime. I have this neuropathy (nerve pain in my hands, arms and shoulders) and while the ativan doesn't have any effect on the pain, it does reduce my anxiety about the pain. I take a couple of ibuprofen as well, and that seems to allow me to sleep. But I'm worried about becoming dependent on the ativan. Saturday I felt pretty good and didn't take an ativan that night. I slept really badly although I don't know if it was because I hadn't taken the ativan or if it was just one of those nights. Sunday was not a good day, either physically or emotionally. Last night, my arms were aching so I took the ibuprofen and the ativan. I slept and this morning I feel much, much better.
I did what I always do. I went searching the web. I found one site that said habituation can develop in just 2 to 4 weeks of regular use. So I don't know what to do. Maybe tonight, if I'm having pain, I'll try half an ativan and I'll ask Dr. Schnurr about it on Thursday.
I feel like one of those Hollywood people who explain that they are checking into Betty Ford because they developed an addiction to pain medication after an injury. Picture me hear standing in front a microphone, taking responsibility for my problem and all that rot, okay?
My sister is flying in today from New Mexico to spend a week with me. I can't wait.