One of my students from a few years ago, a guy named G, contacted me a couple of days ago. When he heard about the Hodgkins, he suggested that I contact the Make a Wish Foundation and get something good out of this deal. He recommended a pony.
That's when I realized, I don't want to be brave. Forget the pony, I want a Porsche.
First, from now on, I'm going to whine. Cancer Sucks. It's boring, too. And since I have it, everybody has to sit around nodding supportively while I whine and cry. In fact, I expect people to tiptoe around my feelings, careful not to say or do something that will 'upset' me. Although I'm going to get upset anyway, so you're all screwed.
Second, I expect to be catered to. From now on, we watch only TV shows I want to watch. Eat at only my favorite restaurants. See only movies I want to see. And I get to buy stuff. Lots of stuff.
Third, I expect to contribute nothing. Not only am I not going to gamely struggle to make everything as normal as possible, I'm going to be an utter black hole of resources. Im going to be costly, financially and emotionally.
I refuse to bend to the stereotype of the Brave Cancer Patient. I vow that when this is all over, everybody will be forced to acknowledge, I wasn't like all those cliche people. I was myself.
Of course, in May, when my PET Scan is clean, there could be hell to pay for all of this.